I have had this a few times. It might be working fine.
When netbeans gives you this message it has timed out connecting to the admin console (that is how it check the server started)
If you have installed "stuff" or have a large amount of transactions or session to recover then it can be slow and time out.
try
1. right click on the server and refresh
2. right-click on the server -> properties -> options : increase the startup time out value
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