there is no explicit graceful option available. instead server stop is ment to be graceful - that means all working server threads are stopped gracefully. gracefulness goes down to java threading model. The thread in java threading model is stopped when it finishes doing the stuff specified in run() method, and there is no explicit terminate() method in a Thread class. since jdk1.5. So the threads are terminated when they actually finish doing the stuff they need to do i.e. serving user request - therefore server appears to stop gracefully to the user.
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